Sky "Two Jags" Clearbrook
I got a letter from the government the other day... well... my local GP's surgery, to be more accurate. I opened it and read it, it said I was "at risk".
Yes, seemingly I am in the "at risk" group for catching swine flu. So, I made the necessary appointment and - after another early morning appointment where I spotted a fellow Dunfermline-based blogger hanging about outside Davie Gray's hairdressing salon in the Maygate at about 0815 this morning (there is a reason I didn't make presence known this morning, but - depending how things turn out - I might explain why I didn't draw attention to myself this morning, this time next week - yep, very cryptic) - I duly turned up for the en-masse vaccination surgery at 1055 this morning.
I was quite impressed at the efficiency of the whole operation - not what I've come to expect from Nethertown Surgery, Dunfermline, in recent years. By the time I arrived, the waiting room was jam packed. It turned out they'd already vaccinated 250 patients and I was part of the second batch of 250, each of us roll-called with startling efficiency. The busy-ness of the waiting room was somewhat deceptive - nobody found themselves sitting down for too long.
Upon hearing my name, I was frog-marched into Room 11 to be met by my
actual GP. I swear, I don't think I've seen this geezer in the flesh since about 2004! Such is life at Nethertown Surgery... you usually just get who you're given!
So anyway, he did
that squirty thing where they make sure there are no bubbles about to come up the needle and then.. he was straight into the top of my left arm... Penetrating me to the hilt; a little prick (if you will) like he'd just thrown a fucking dart from the other side of the room. Anyway, needles don't bother me and I'm happy to watch the whole thing as though it was somebody else's arm. Fucking, yes!!! Then his accomplice sitting at the PC piped up and said, "Actually, Mr Clearbrook's* also due the 'normal' flu vaccine too."
"Fine," I said, "In for a penny... Bring it on, seldom seen GP. Picture me giving a damn," I said, "Never!". So he stood up to the oche and launched a second dart, this time into my right arm. Hahahaaaaaa! Your fucking needles don't bother me! As a parting shot, he said to me that a normal reaction would be to experience some flu-like symptons for a few days (even although I recently read something to the contrary; apparently the only way for this to be true would be if the flu virus was already in your system at the time you had the vaccination - you just don't know who the fuck to believe, do you?). Well, whatever the outcome, I know I just have to grin and bear the consequences. I must admit, I've felt quite "off piste" since this morning, but certainly I haven't experienced any flu-like symptoms.
Anyway, although my swine flu arm aches much more than my "normal flu" arm, it's such a small price to pay. Thank fuck for the NHS.
[* Because, you just know that really is name, don't you?]